I felt as if I was always being dragged back. Sit still. Read that. Go over there. Fix this. That’s why I took up athletics. It made me look busy for hours. Don’t worry, I’m running, it’s okay see my skill is improving. Dad’s an athlete too so it was nice to be able to bond with him. Early on he’d give me pointers and spot me on the weights. But eventually I surpassed him. It didn’t seem right, me surpassing my dad at his one best skill before I even become an adult.
My last birthday could not come soon enough and yet it was suddenly here staring me in the face. Did I do okay? Could I have done it better? There was no do-over allowed. I started questioning my decisions, should I have tried more skills, gotten a lower level in all instead of focusing on the few I did? Was there an aspiration I could have achieved? Should I have called in sick that one day when I was out of vacation and Dad couldn’t get me off school?
Eve and I had a shared party again. We never competed directly, but it was impossible not to compare the two of us. See what a difference it made that I was first. I got 404 on my TTS (teen test of skills), Even got 164. I’m spending my time now applying for this secret government project, she’s probably going to stay home for a while, at least until the rugrats age up. She’ll be present for our parent’s funerals when they happen, I’ll be in another saved game. My future has been set since I was born. Here’s is still a mystery.
I’m staring at this application form. Some of the questions are easy, name, age, skills. Some less so – What strategy do you intend to implement to overcome the challenges you will face? How do you react under pressure? There won’t be Zzzjuice where I’m going. There won’t be hot showers or stoves. Just desolation to the highest degree. An apocalyptic world. My kids won’t have the same chances I did growing up, nor their kids. Perhaps my multi-great gandkids will live in a reborn world. It would be nice to think that I’m not dooming them all to misery.